when you should be lifting up.

a cesspool of insecurity,

jealousy

and judgment.

that is not how strong women

treat other women.

behavior that is a product of

a girl who never became a woman.

of a girl who doesn’t love herself enough

to appreciate the value of others.

what a crying shame,

for nothing good ever came from treating your own kind

as a doormat for your twisted behavior

and irrational mind.

 

The White Dress You’ll Wear

We say that things aren’t going to change,

because we desperately don’t want them to.

We don’t want to believe that we may never be the same,

that all of the plans we made aren’t already on their way out the door,

better suited for someone else.

That maybe our foundation isn’t as strong as we thought.

And every day,

I try to put myself in your heavy boots,

hoping that maybe one day I’ll understand the weight you gave to him

and why you made the choice that you did.

This Little Elf Of Mine

With all of this chaos happening in the world right now,  I sit here in my dark room like the vampire that I am, with my little, leafy plant catching sun from the corner of the window. That special tea in my hand. Just me and Dew.

I’m thinking that the only thing I can handle today is love. I’m reflecting on this idea of soulmates, about the way we find our “lifetime people,” the ones who are certain to be there no matter what this chaotic world throws at us.

And boy, does it throw a lot at us. Things come up that we don’t expect, that we never, ever planned on.

These lifetime kind of people, they’re always changing, as we all are. It is nothing but a blessing to watch them grow and transform; to be there for them(and them for you), when it feels that life is too heavy to carry alone.

These kinds of relationships require devoted love and attention, though it is happily given and graciously received. These are the kind of people you meet and from the very beginning, you do not see an end.

And if you’re lucky enough, they are the people that touch your soul in a way that most people don’t. They are the disks in your spine when you feel like you cannot sit up. They are the ones you call without hesitation. They are the ones whose pain you take on as your own, and if you could take it away from them, you would do it without question.

The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realized how important it is to have soulmates. To work through life with someone that you only want the best for is both challenging and beautiful. But it is worth every goddamn second.

My soulmate is not my lover, and in a way, it makes our connection deeper. Because no matter what and no matter who else comes along, she will always stay my person.

 

 

 

The Interruption of Transition

The best way to transition

is to do it with kindness.

To allow yourself time

to accept the change

that is occurring inside of you,

to turn your healing into love,

and give it to those who need it.

I hate to say

that jumping back into romance

that is not really romance,

is not the answer to your problem, dear.

Do not let strangers kiss your lips,

only for you to pull away from the foreign taste of their mouth,

only for you to feel bad about it in the morning.

change-2

Photo at https://www.pinterest.com/pin/121456521171849256/