not quite a quarter of a century, so here are twenty four things i’ve learned this year.

balloons

  1. sometimes, your creative passion should not be your job or career. and that is totally ok.
  2. trying out being a vegan doesn’t make you a weird, judgmental hippie. allow yourself to try new things without the judgment of others weighing you down.
  3. neither does not drinking or not using marijuana. you actually have to feel and process all of your emotions and thoughts. it’s hard… but hangovers are worse.
  4. there comes a time when you don’t want a stranger sleeping in your bed anymore; when your body physically repels this idea. it’s a good sign that you’re figuring out what you want from intimacy and relationships.
  5. don’t set up your friends with people you used to like. and don’t set up a friend you secretly have feelings for with another good friend of yours. especially if the person you have feelings for is your roommate. it’s not going to make you stop having feelings for them. just don’t be a dumbass when setting people up.
  6. but, you will eventually get over “liking people,” especially if they don’t like you back. why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? it’s a emotional fault that we all need to break.
  7. appreciate every breathing second of your life. even the painful ones.
  8. there is such a big world beyond what we know in our own lives. always remember this and approach every situation with an open mind and no expectations.
  9. sometimes it takes tragedies to bring old friends and acquaintances together. ¬†that’s perfectly ok. put in the effort to reconnect with them. love them even if you thought they sucked sometimes in high school. love all the steps they’ve taken to grow.
  10. don’t trust girls who can’t maintain friendships with other girls. you are running toward a nuclear, drama bomb.
  11. on that note, surround yourself with people who lift you up. and continue to lift them up.
  12. go out of your way to make friends with people who are different from you. you will grow tremendously from them.
  13. it’s ok to be scared of growing up. accept your fear. cry as much as you want. but keep moving forward, even at 2 mph. even at a very slow crawl.
  14. you’re never truly alone.
  15. treat the planet with respect. unless you don’t want to live on a planet that you respect.
  16. recognize the gifts you have to offer the world. if you’re not offering them; rethink what you’re doing, and change your priorities.
  17. get outside.
  18. if you want flowers, buy yourself flowers.
  19. life is like the half-built structure of a house. eventually there will be a roof. eventually there will be rooms, and paint and other things. but, it’s still pretty beautiful when there are just wooden beams and sunshine. also, it takes a lot of people to build a house.
  20. it is really, really difficult to delete pictures of your dog from your phone.
  21. when your friends are happy, celebrate their happiness.
  22. when you say your flaws out loud, nobody can use them against you.
  23. going to bed early is really, really lovely sometimes/most of the time.
  24. treat your body,mind and soul with respect. they are everything that you are. they are everything that allow you to be happy.

 

happy birthday, lauren. you’re doing just fine.

 

 

i won’t drown with you on your sinking boat (i’d rather give you a lifejacket)

some people go low,

but i don’t need to go lower.

committed to a fault,

accepting my faults.

thinking i needed to stay loyal when i needed to stay healthy.

seeing the best in you.

my strength also my weakness.

a few lessons learned,

many more to go

as your truth comes out.

remaining grateful for what you taught me

even while you try to pull me down with you.

 

 

 

to sit with yourself

the best way to transition

is to do it with kindness.

to allow yourself time

to accept the change that is occurring inside of you,

to turn your healing into love,

and give it to those who need it.

jumping back into romance

that is not really romance,

is not the answer to your problem, dear.

do not let strangers kiss your lips,

only for you to pull away from the foreign taste of their mouth,

only for you to feel bad about it in the morning.

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