It’s Not Always That Fairytale Kind You Know.

And at first sight,

we can love everyone we meet.

Simply because they are someone.

I’ve been thinking

that everyone deserves to be loved

for no particular reason,

other than that they are so perfectly particular.

It doesn’t have to be some intimate experience of romance,

or a flaming spark of fire.

But maybe just one soul touching another.

With fingertips of kindness,

with eyes of empathy,

with an immediate agreement to honor that person

for exactly as they are in that moment.

frogs

 

To Start A New Beginning Again

There was this time.

This time that I got so lost, that my wisdom disappeared, too.

I poured myself into other people as if they would somehow fix me, as if they would somehow bring me peace.

But they only brought me chaos.

And so I would cry to myself on a Tuesday afternoon. I would swear that I would not trust again after watching all of these people leave so effortlessly. How could they possibly leave my intelligence, my passion, my eagerness to love?

How could they possibly want to go when I was giving them all of the best parts of me? How could they possibly not see me?

Regardless, they walked away, just like my wisdom. The wisdom that their walking was not a reflection upon myself, but upon them.

I lost the wisdom that I was more than enough; that maybe, they just wanted the enough part,

that maybe, they just weren’t ready for the more.

So I would try to tell myself,

“Stop doing this. Stop destroying yourself.”

“And do what?” I would sneer back. “Sit at home and feel sorry for myself?”

So I kept running into nothingness anyway, into deceitful words of adoration from strangers, whose names I struggle to remember. Into touch that had no feeling.

Because, see,

I am a fire,

even when there are just embers sitting at my feet.

I will burn myself into the ground as intensely as I will burn myself into a chimney to warm up a room in the winter.

And so I scorched so much until I burned down a whole forest.

F*cking up every root of goodness in my life because my pain created that many flames.

And that is how I found myself here.

Picking up the black leaves,

one by one,

and planting myself back into the earth again.

owl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And Always

Doesn’t it feel like life should have a soundtrack?

With every experience

comes a song.

With every emotion

comes a note.

So when you are feeling,

you are also listening to the way that feeling sounds.

Letting these sound waves guide you through life,

reminding you that you are not alone,

that there is energy all around you

to hold you up when you feel weak,

to dance with you when you feel alive,

to be there for you always.

soundtrack-2

 

Don’t Say No To the Memories

Stop it with these what ifs,

with these whys,

with these maybes.

Turn off your brain for a second

and open up your heart.

Open up your soul.

Let your being be filled with the feeling of undeniable excitement,

undeniable joy,

undeniable fear

of the things you want,

and then let that want overcome that fear.

Fill yourself with the undeniable possibility of life, dear.

Stop saying no because your logic is telling you so.

Stop asking questions that aren’t even ready to be asked yet.

Just let yourself feel.

Feel alive,

feel infatuated,

feel in love,

feel beyond any measure that is basic,

or mediocre

or boring.

Life is so full of the opportunity

to just be alive.

It’s not about where you are trying to get to,

but rather the way you want to get to where you think you’re going.

Because no destination

is ever better than the humanity you experienced to get “there”.

Wherever “there” actually is.

couple-in-field

 

Everything Dries Eventually

The stillness after the storm,

where all that is left is a mist in the grass,

twigs fallen off the tree,

and you,

one layer less.

One chaotic piece of your life gone.

That storm,

it felt like madness.

But I’ve discovered that it is only madness that makes you feel free.

One more lighting bolt dodged, dear.

And the sun,

always on its way to dry you.

wet-bench