It should come as no surprise to my readers that I have dated a lot of people.
(Shocking, I know.)
It has been fun, exciting, scary, really f*cking weird, and sometimes, totally sh*tty.
To say that I have learned a lot about myself and other people is a vast understatement.
People are complicated. We’re adoring and then cold. We’re truthful and then false.
and then suddenly,
If we are lucky, we have support and adoration from friends, family and hopefully, ourselves.
But intimacy and passion, they’re like adoration on crack.
And so we hope that other people will fill this natural human void through their intimate acts of approval,
whether it’s through sex,
Sometimes, it’s healthy, and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes, it’s mutual, and sometimes, we’re users.
We take and we take and we take until we’ve sucked out everything we need from another person, and then we leave them in the grass like a cheetah leaves their prey.
We’ve all been users.
And we’ve all been used.
It’s as though we’re all just trying to find some sort of solution to fix the brokenness inside of us.
That brokenness that tells us that we’re not worthy of love,
that we don’t know how to love,
that we’re never going to receive the love that we want.
There’s something about all the little cracks in our hearts that start to build up, though, that serve a really important purpose in our lives.
The cuts give us empathy.
Gradually, they teach us to start treating other people in a healthy manner.
We learn what it means to take advantage.
We learn not to do it.
And in turn,
we can learn to see the affection we give each other as a gift.
A gift that deserves honesty,
A gift that teaches us that healthy affection thrives on compassion for the human heart.