I know that you’re excited about what lies ahead, but it’s ok to be terrified, too. I promise you, this means you’re doing it all right.
You’re going to see so many new things-ridiculous, beautiful, painful, sad, stunning, confusing, be pushed to your own limits, have your heart broken and then glued back together again.
Your faith in humanity will be tested, but you have love in you, darling, so you’re going to be just fine.
Just let yourself bend a little, ok? If you never bend, you won’t give yourself the chance to break. And breaking will be very, very crucial in the long run.
And know that this whole time, this time that you’re growing and bending and breaking and re-glueing, I’ll be thinking of you. Maybe not every day, but often.
I know that it’s been seven years, and maybe seven more years will pass where you will pop into my head and leave me with questions that I don’t have the answers to.
Maybe you were just the dream, darling. But it’s ok.
I’ve always liked dreaming.
Like the wildflowers that grow in the grass every spring,
swaying free in the wind,
admired for our truth,
protected by something so much bigger than us,
like the Universe
was almost as bad as you leaving.
Those nights when I had to listen to your breathing from the other room
and beg myself not to want you.
Your presence was kind of like torture.
But that should come as no surprise to me by now.
I seem to be attracted to things that somehow hurt.
You feel like the way love should be,
like coming home.
Timing and distance,
they keep getting in the way.
Like the fact that I could love you with my whole heart right now,
and you’re not quite ready to do the same.
Maybe you won’t ever be.
Or maybe we just keep wanting each other at the wrong times,
Maybe that’s it.
So that’s where the knife landed
after it went into my back
and through my heart.
Your conscience was right,
You’ve been listening to the devil on your shoulder
for far too long.
It’s about time the angel had a chance to speak.