People get so obsessed
with how much money they are going to make,
how significant their career is,
with how “important” they think they have to be.
What they don’t understand,
is that money comes and goes,
careers will come only from passion,
it has absolutely nothing to do
with any of these things.
What makes you strong
is not doing everything on your own,
but having the ability
to let others help you.
My favorite kind of Thursday night
is the rainy kind,
the kind where I can sit at home in my sweatpants
with vodka in a wine glass,
my best friend,
and my favorite movie
in the dim lighting of my cozy living room.
I am not going to call just anyone
to keep me company,
because this space is where my heart is.
I couldn’t possibly let someone in it
who does not know how much it means to me.
My success will never be measured
by how much I have done,
but how much I have loved while doing it.
It is both a blessing and a curse,
to feel so connected to others.
To feel so alive
in their joy
and so hurt
in their pain,
and then to have to let it go
as though I never knew what it felt like.
I’m not sure if this is a strength
or a weakness.
And so I write,
with the hope that typing out these words
will clear out the chaos in my heart.
The thoughts in my mind
are so rapid
and so intertwined,
that no map could even make sense of them.
I didn’t realize how much I missed the smell of you,
the taste of your lips,
the familiarity of your touch.
I spent our time apart
ignoring the reality that what you gave me
was more important than flowers and dinner.
I’m sorry, darling,
that I acted so disappointed with you
for expressing love in a different language than me.
You only did what you knew to be true,
and I only wanted what I understood.
I am used to being showered with compliments and gifts,
but not with true affection.
it takes time away
to realize that relationships are not ever going to work
the way we expect them too.
But that does not mean they are not good for us.