This Ambiance Is Where I Live

My favorite kind of Thursday night

is the rainy kind,

the kind where I can sit at home in my sweatpants

with vodka in a wine glass,

my best friend,

and my favorite movie

in the dim lighting of my cozy living room.

I am not going to call just anyone

to keep me company,

because this space is where my heart is.

I couldn’t possibly let someone in it

who does not know how much it means to me.

home

Let Me Explain How I Feel Toward You Right Now Using Breakfast Foods

The basis of a friendship

is not taking advantage of another person.

So when you tell me you want to be friends,

after you’ve used me

to figure out how you feel about another person,

like a kid who tries out Lucky Charms for a week

and then realizes he still likes Cheerios,

I cannot trust your friendship.

Because I am the half-eaten box of colorful cereal that sits in your pantry.

You opened me up,

had a taste,

and then picked at me until you took out all of your favorite pieces.

I understand that kids don’t apologize to different shapes of marshmallows,

but you are more grown up than that,

and so am I.

lucky charms

I Don’t Know How I Feel About Feeling So Intensely About The World

 

 

It is both a blessing and a curse,

to feel so connected to others.

To feel so alive

in their joy

and so hurt

in their pain,

and then to have to let it go

as though I never knew what it felt like.

I’m not sure if this is a strength

or a weakness.

And so I write,

with the hope that typing out these words

will clear out the chaos in my heart.

 

emotions 1