Certainty

I’m not certain about the word certainty.

The word makes me feel like someone’s asking me to get a tattoo on my face.

I feel confident about the small things,

like what I want to eat for dinner or what word I want to use in sentence.

But, I’m not certain about the stuff that’s supposed to matter.

Like relationships,

and commitment

and career.

It’s like I could have a million signs pointing me toward the right thing,

and yet,

I’m still not certain.

Because, I don’t know the meaning of what I feel.

Except that certain things feel good

and others don’t.

I don’t know how to get past this hump of feeling so unwilling to say “I’m certain.”

But, I don’t want to say no either.

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