Cracked

I’m afraid that all of the cracks in my heart will split open.

So I’ve been covering them up with band aids,

not feeling quite ready to rip them off.

But then you walk into my life

at the most inconvenient time,

when I am closed off and reluctant to let anyone in,

because all I remember is the feeling of being split open.

All I can think about are the wounds that took over my body when he walked away.

I hate that I can’t be as open as I want to be,

because you’re the person that I need.

I want you.

But I am scared of you, too.

Scared of everything that you could give.

Scared of being a part of something that could actually go right.

I let you kiss my lips and hold me in your arms

while we sit in front of the fire.

We’re living in this perfect moment

where you make me feel so safe,

and yet I am so afraid of you.

I don’t want to fall

only to land on a sheet of ice

and crack all over again.

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