The White Girl Rap

Oh (beat) so, you want a white girl rap?

Well, (beat) here you go here you go, here I’m at.

I’m just sitting in my Calvins high off of Colorado gummies

my munchies are strawberries and greek yogurt with fresh honey

No I don’t want your money , cause I like ‘eeerrrbody,

And they’d call me a gold digger if I used it like a dummy,

buying all the Lindor chocolates that the world has got to offer,

and a lot of fuzzy blankets to keep this bad world softer,

I used to be an actress who only ate organic,

cause pesticides are sh*t  for you and I’m all about the planet.

Yeah, I like yoga pants and I happen to do yoga,

But a lotta people think that it’s just a bunch of schmoga,

that the world isn’t connected,

but that sh*t just ain’t true.

‘Cause we are all united,

by what’s right and what is true.

What’s true is I’m a woman who likes to climb a mountain,

and I don’t drink ginga’ lattes, so don’t make that assumption.

I’m a writer and a fighter, and I’ll surely kick your a*s,

with my words, though, not my fists, cause you know the former lasts.

I think I need to go,

rapping isn’t my profession,

but I thought it would be fun to teach myself a f*cking lesson.

Yeah, I curse like a sailor,

I should prolly calm it down, cause all the old folks out there are telling  me to settle down,

and who would want a woman who uses f*ck more than the word sandwich,

but, hell, it’s my position to takes the reins in white girl town.

Don’t you try and stop, don’t you rappers bring me down,

for trying out your talent,

all these works makin’ me drown. (beat)


(hair flip)

(fade out)






One thought on “The White Girl Rap

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