Jumping to Conclusions

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and my chest does this little throbbing thing.

I think it’s called heartache.

I know physical pain, but this kind of body pain is different.

It’s usually after I have a nightmare. You are always in them lately.

It’s not like I’m falling into a black hole or being chased by zombies.

You are just there, and in each one you hurt me in a new way.

The plotline always changes.

I suppose it’s because you never told me the truth about yours.

So, I’m left here wondering.

Not about what you think of me, you made that pretty clear;

that I tried too hard to impress you, that I seem too “young,” that I am not an independent person.

Most days, I can push aside your ignorant comments.

But when you show up in my sleep, I wake up in a panic,

because you have followed me to the one place I thought I could escape you.

I think I’m still fighting for something that never existed with the hope that I can create it;

with the hope that you will transform your mind to match the beauty of your body;

with the hope that you will no longer see me as a “child.”

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