Medicine

Every day I take anti-anxiety medications, an anti-depressant and a myriad of other supplements. The serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine trickle into my brain, and I feel ok. Ok is good, I think.

I still cry at sad movies. I still have a temper. I still laugh way too much. But even when things go bad, it’s not as though the earth is shattering beneath me.

People seem more beautiful. Things seem more possible. I feel brave.

I came from a state of fearing everything. I looked into the mirror every day and picked myself apart until the only thing I felt was ugly and sad and full of hate.

Outside, I was living. But inside, I was dying.

These days, I’m high on happiness, craving human connection, craving the human touch and never hesitating to reach out to grab someone’s hand if it’s how I want to show affection.

I know they’re drugs,┬ábut they’re giving me a chance for love, or at least a new lense to see it in. They’re giving me the freedom to be the person that I’ve always wanted to be.

It’s not always perfect. Some days, all the medicine makes me feel really sick. Some days, it’s hard to eat. Some days, I don’t care about any of my responsibilities.

But, I’m grateful to have my life back.

Life, it’s ok. It always has been.

I just needed a little help to see it.

Moments

We only see truth in moments;

not in the minutes or days or weeks that pass us by.

Those are all just life.

It is in moments that we see possibility.

It is in moments when we realize what we want to be for each other.

If you let these moments escape you,

life will only move forward,

and you will be left waiting for the next moment to arrive.

rain kiss

December

I’m falling for you like the leaves on the ground,

kicking them away until they disappear into December.

I know I’m freshly fallen snow,

but maybe you like that.

You can make an angel out of me,

And I will warm you up like a steaming cup of coffee.

Inside the Frame

Every time you say out loud,

the stories of your heartbreak;

every time you share the memories of the ones who left your picture,

you are making room for new people to fill the frame.

There are so many faded images in the background,

but above them are new figures that glue together the cracks in the glass.

They are the muses,

in the artistry of your life.

They are how you move on.